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Miami Dolphins April Scouting Report
Jimmy The Finger
4/16/2019

As the NFL Draft looms in the not-too-distant future I gaze into my crystal ball and can tell you as far as the Miami Dolphins are concerned – I got absolutely no idea what they might do. Everybody knows what they need. What’s that position called again? You know… The guy the ball is snapped to. The guy who either hands it off or throws it to one of the other guys. Just can’t think of it right now. I would ask somebody in the Fins Front Office, but apparently they don’t know what position that is either, though most other NFL teams seem to think it’skinda important. You know – the teams that end up in the playoffs.

 

While we’re on the subject, there’s these other two guys – they line up on either side of thatguy who hikes that ball. The Miami Brain Trust has no idea what these guys are called either.

 

Miami Brain Trust. Sounds like Jumbo Shrimp, Military Intelligence, or the Marijuana Initiative.

 

My only hope is that Arizona really takes Kyler Murray with the first overall. A truly great college Quarterback, I think Murray will be an exciting, dynamic playmaker until his first ACL. If I was a betting man (and I am) I would place the over/under on that around Game Seven of his Rookie Season. If the Cards don’t take him Number One, the Draft will degenerate into the Kyler Murray Show. And that will suck. As it is, every person on every NFL opinion show talks about nothing else, and between all the time they waste on Mock Drafts it is difficult enough to glean any useful information on any of the other prospects.

 

If Arizona does not draft Murray first, then all the talk will be about who is going to trade up to snatch this 5’10" land mine for themselves. Quinnen Williams gets taken second, they will only mention him in passing as they work up to a Kyler Murray orgasm.Jeeze… The guy’s not five foot, nine and three quarters. He’s five, ten and one-eighth. Football uses to be a game of inches. Now, I guess it’s a game of sixteenths.

 

Some Mock Drafts have Miami selecting Murray with the 13th Overall. This is assuming they don’t do something really stupid and trade up for him. As every Fins Fan knows, however, once you say it that way, you really start to sweat. The Dolphins have just been so stupid for so long. At this point, you can’t put anything past them.

 

Frankly, the coverage this time of the year really sucks. Instead of Mock Drafts, which might as well be featured on the front page of the National Enquirer, the NFL shows could be showing us in-depth analysis and video on the top 15-20 prospects at every position. That, of course, would involve work, and it’s much easier just to pick players out their you-know-what and babble. Meantime, a guy who’s ranked 7th or 8th at his position, his name is never even mentioned.

 

Don’t think this is more apparent then in this year’s Quarterback Class. Ever hear of Jake Browning, Easton Stick or Tyree Jackson? These guys could be very good NFL QBs. But you don’t hear their name, anything about them, because the so-called experts are whacking off over Kyler Murray.

 

What I am digging on is all this talk about Dwayne Haskins’ Draft stock slipping. To me, Haskins is the guy everybody should be lusting after. I would love to see him slip to Miami at 13th Overall, though I put the chances of them having brains enough to draft him around 50-50 at best. And I’m being nice. Which is pathetic.

 

If Miami can’t get Haskins, I think they can still select a very good Defensive Player – a run stuffing Tackle or good edge rusher. Assuming Kyler Murray and Haskins have been selected, that leaves 10 other picks before the Fins are on the clock. You gotta think a lot of the real prizes will be gone by then: DTs Quinnen Williams and Ed Oliver; Edge Rushers Josh Allen, Nick Bosa, Montez Sweatand Rashan Gary; LBs Devin White and Devin Bush; probably OT Jawaan Taylor. That’s nine. Assuming there aren’t any surprises. There’s no Cornerbacks, Wide Receivers or Tight Ends in that list, though there’s a lot of talk about Greedy Williams, Byron Murphy, D.K. Metcalf, T.J. Hockenson or Noah Fant. John Elway reportedly has a man crush on QB Drew Lock. A team or two takes any of these, one of the previously mentioned premier prospects could slip to 13th.

 

Of the batch, aside from Dwayne Haskins, I’d love to see Miami end up with one of the Linebackers. Seems like Devin White is ranked higher than Devin Bush, so I doubt the former will still be on the board, and of the Edge Rushers I think Josh Allen’s the real prize. Most experts rank Nick Bosa and Montez Sweat higher, but I like what I’ve seen fromRashanGary.

 

A number of Mocks also have Miami selecting an Offensive Tackle. This would be a very smart, safe move, indicating a team with an intelligent long-term approach.

 

Given the scenario outlined above, the Fins would also have a pretty decent shot at the 3rd, 4th rated QBs: Drew Lock, Daniel Jones, Ryan Finley. A lot of the experts kinda high on these guys, but I don’t know if I’d pull the trigger on any of them. There will still be some very good Offensive or Defensive Lineman on the board, some Edge Rushers with potential, and I think some decent Quarterbacks will be available through the later rounds.

 

One way or the other this will be the first real indication of just how smart (or dumb) the new Fins regime really is. I’ve seen interviews with new Head Coash Brian Flores. He seems like a really good guy. Don’t know if that’s good or bad. Met Dave Wannstedt once, he was a great guy. Kind guy you could hang out with, have a beer together. Unfortunately, you’d be doing that while watching the Playoffs on TV. Aside from which we have no idea just how much input Flores will have into personnel decisions.

 

It’s the stupid personnel decisions that have led to Miami’s current and ever-increasing decline: taking Pat White over Jimmy Graham; Jake Long over Matt Ryan; Ronnie Brown instead of Aaron Rodgers. With Chris Grier the new mucky-muck the only hope for Fins Fans is a kinda reverse Peter Principle. Maybe the guy has finally gotten promoted to a position at which he might be competent. At the very least, the fact he might be removed from the talent evaluation process – if indeed he really is – can only help the ball club.

End.

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