Third Pre-Season Game – the fabled "Dress Rehearsal" – now in the books. Looks like the Miami Dolphins are going to be their regular old mediocre selves once again. You can’t make chicken salad out of chicken s*#t, and in this case the chicken s*#t of which we speak of looks like it is between the ears of Head Coach Adam Gase. In what bizarre universe is this guy considered an offensive mastermind? Screw the "master." Fins Fans would be thrilled just to see some evidence of a mind at work.

In 2017 the Miami Offense ranked 32nd in 3rd Down Conversions. In case someone from the Dolphin Front Office might be reading this, let me remind you there are 32 teams in the NFL, meaning you were LAST in the FRICKIN’ LEAGUE!

Of course, there is a simple explanation why the Fins suck on 3rd Downs. It’s because they suck even worse on 1st and 2nd. Lately, it is becoming obvious Adam Gase has no talent for calling plays. Especially on 2nd Down. 2nd & 9 and he’s calling a dive off right tackle, or the most obvious flanker screen in creation.

This is an especially bitter pill for Fins Fans to swallow, since they remember when everybody talked about how 3rd Down was the most important down in football. But one day a man came along and said no, the most important down in football was 1st Down, since that determined what you must do on 2nd and 3rd Downs. This was a man of vision. His name was Don Shula. So please tell me why the Miami Dolphins can’t even figure out one of their own legacies.

Given the complete lack of brain power in the Dolphin "Brain Trust," it is difficult to forecast much Fantasy Success for any player on the Miami Roster. RB Kenyan Drake could be a Top 5 Running Back this Season, but that would mean they’d have to – like – give him the ball. But right now it’s looking like Drake will be splitting time with Frank Gore. Gore was a great Running Back once – "WAS" being they key word in that phrase. You wanna throw the guy a bone, give him a Swan Song in front of his home town crowd, that’s really nice. You wanna think at this point of his career Gore offers anything close to what Kenyan Drake brings to the table, you should be given random IQ tests as a condition of your employment.

My Fantasy Forecasts for the Fins:

QB Ryan Tannehill will have a good year, probably finish as the 14-15th best Quarterback in the League, his Fantasy Value mitigated by the "3 & Out" play calling of Adam Gase and the number of times he will be climbing out from underneath a pile of Defensive Ends and Edge Rushing LBs.

RB Kenyan Drake could rank somewhere around 5-7th in PPR Leagues if he is featured. Unfortunately the Fins seem to think having a player runs faster than the defense gives them some kind of unfair advantage. More than likely he will average 60-70 yards from scrimmage each game before getting pulled for someone slower and less explosive, and will only score TDs if he can run them in from 20 yards out or further.

RB Frank Gore could vulture a bunch of TDs when he is inserted in the Red Zone even though Kenyan Drake is bigger and can hit the scrum with a lot more momentum.

WR Kenny Stills will lead the team in Catches, Receiving Yards and TD Receptions. The guy has played lights off when they remember to go to him.

WR DeVante Parker will show real talent for the one quarter of the one game in which he is healthy, will finish the Season ranked around 50th among wide receivers.

WR Danny Amendola will disappoint. He has never lived up to anybody’s expectations. Why should that change now?

WR Albert Wilson and WR Jakeem Grant will make some terrific plays. Everybody except Adam Gase will conclude they are so good they should be given more opportunities.

Rookie TE Mike Desicki will display talent which ranks him among the top Tight Ends, but will be the 3rd or 4th Read on most plays, and the Fins O-Line will only give Tannehill time to progress through his 2nd or 3rd.

The Fins Place Kicker might be a worthwhile selection in the last round of your Draft. Adam Gase is definitely showing symptoms of the Tony Sparano syndrome, where a team continually plays for Field Goals.

The Dolphin D will have a lot of Fantasy Relevance and you should shape your entire Fantasy Draft around them. You want to draft as many players that play the Miami Defense as many times as possible.

As the 2018 NFL Season approaches, you can tell, down here in South Florida, we are enthused. Oh, yeah. Go Fins. Get down there into long Field Goal range.

End.