Miami’s first Pre-Season Game is in the books. It’s a Good News, Bad News situation. The Good News is that the Miami subs are probably better than Tampa Bay’s subs. The Bad News is their Starters pretty much stunk, especially their D, and particularly their running D.

As it stands, we have a new nickname for the Dolphin Defense – the "Welcome Mat D." These guys seem incapable of stopping anybody at any time. No 3rd Down is safe. And they still can’t cover a Tight End. 1st Rounder Minkah Fitzpatrick looked good, seems like the real deal, but we still have our reservations about selecting him over MLB Tremaine Edmunds with our first pick. Having a good Pass D seems immaterial if you can’t stop the run, and the Miami Linebacking Corps seems about as good at their job as the guys who were steering the Costa Concordia.

How do you win games in the NFL? You run the ball, you stop the run, and you don’t commit turnovers. That’s like Football Cliché #2. You’d think somebody in the Fins Front Office, maybe even one of their Coaches, might’ve heard this before. Apparently not. Of course, Football Cliché #1 is: "It all starts upfront." They haven’t figured this one out yet, either. Since he entered the League, QB Ryan Tannehill has been sacked more than any other Quarterback. Most people might call this "The First Clue." However this is lost on the Dolphine braintrust, a contradiction in terms. Like Jumbo Shrimp, Military Intelligence, or the Marijuana Initiative.

Much of the media attention focuses on Tannehill, but the Miami play calling is horrendous, especially on Second & Long.

One takeaway from this game might be worth noting. Tannehill completed his first four passes, 2 of them to WR Kenny Stills. People keep asking who will be the beneficiary of all the targets previously directed at The Diva (Jarvis Landry). Don’t overlook Stills. The guy played lights-out last Season when they threw him the ball.

Also, the Search Party dispatched to find WR DeVante Parker discovered he was actually at the game in a Dolphins uniform.

Rookie RB Kalen Ballage had some nice runs, got people thinking, making the Running Back situation even more muddled. Given the brain power at work on the Dolphins side line this has the potential to turn into a Greek Tragedy. Fantasy Experts went into a tizzy when initial depth charts came out a week ago, seeing RB Kenyan Drake listed as a co-starter with 35-year old Frank Gore. Only 2 possible explanations: 1.) Head Coach Adam Gase is honoring Gore for his contributions to the NFL, playing a little mind game with teams Miami will be facing; or 2.) Gase really is that stupid.

A tough call. Morning Line Odds out of the Sports Books in Vegas has this a pick ‘em.

Remember, when the Fins traded Jay Ajayi to Philly last year, Gase was actually starting perennial plodder Damien Williams until he went down with an injury. Given a chance to start for the final five games of 2017, all Drake did was lead the NFL in rushing over the succeeding period, gaining 444 yards, broke a couple big runs, added 17 receptions for another 150. Carry those numbers out to a 16 game season it’s 1,400 yards Rushing and 54 Receptions for 480 yards. So why they’d want him splitting time with an old warhorse on his last legs like Gore is frankly a bit of a mystery.

Don’t know how many of you watch Seth Meyers, but Late Night has developed technology that allows them to listen in to the tiny voice in Donald Trump’s head. I borrowed that technology, focused it on Adam Gase at the end of last Season. Here’s what he was thinking:

"Wow! Look at THAT! We give the ball to Kenyan Drake and he’s actually running FASTER than the guys on the Defense! That’s gotta be against the rules or something. We better find a slower guy to run the ball so we’re not taking an unfair advantage over the other team. We wouldn’t want to get fined by the Commissioner."

For the time being, Drake remains a breakout candidate with a high ceiling, but that’s assuming Adam Gase has a brain in his head. To me, the logical handcuff would be Ballage, but I don’t have to take my socks and shoes off when it’s 3rd and 16.

WR Kenny Stills deserves to be drafted, but at this point DeVante Parker, Danny Amendola and Albert Wilson boil down to that old Dirty Harry thing – do you feel lucky? (Well? Do you – punk?) QB Ryan Tannehill might be a decent streaming option, but I’d be surprised if you can’t get him on your Waiver Wire, and Rookie TE Mike Gesicki is certainly worth a flyer, though if you’re so inclined, I would not let him slip too long.

As for the Dolphin ("Welcome Mat") D, I think they could play a large role in the success of your Fantasy Team. Draft as many players, especially Running Backs and Tight Ends, who play them.

End.